5 February 2012 by kathleen.

We transgendered live our lives rich with emotion.  We may be many things, but we are rarely bored.  While we are in the closet, our lives are filled with fear of discovery; filled, too often, with shame as well.

We we come out, when we cast caution to the wind and live our essence in the face of possible humiliation and even violence, we experience a life fuller and livelier than our cis-gendered fellow citizens ever dream of.

I know that when you need to come out, but can’t, life can be miserable.  That’s putting it mildly, right?  You can change your life.  The more certain you are that life in your chosen gender is impossible for you, the more certain it is that your own attitudes and beliefs can enable you to find a way out.

I can’t say what it will take for you to find your way out.  Just please keep yourself open to trying new things, and thinking new things.  You are worth the effort; you deserve to express your essence and live in the gender you know yourself to be.

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24 January 2012 by kathleen.

I am not strongly interested in politics, but every once in a while I get motivated to participate.  Today I visited my state senator and state delegate in Richmond, Virginia, as part of the annual Lobby Day sponsored by Equality Virginia. Gs, Ls, Bs, Ts, and their allies visit the state legislators and put faces and hands to the GLBT label once a year. I was one of three transwomen from my city that took part today.

It’s easy to dismiss us when we are nameless faces in a pride parade, or faceless names on email messages; it is a different story when a warm hand shakes yours and tells you that she used to be “he”. Yes, I said that. I reminded the state senator that I shook hands with him during his first senate campaign, and that when I did my name was John.  I was blunt, I know, but I hope I made the point that we Ts are everyday people you might meet on the street.

I don’t need to tell you, dear Reader, how important it is that all persons enjoy employment without discrimination on any basis.  Or that GLBT parents can give as much love to an adopted child as any other adoptive parent.   Even more important, we must not allow faith-based adoption agencies to use state money to discriminate against foster children that self-identify as gay, lesbian, or transgender.  These issues are on Equality Virginia’s radar this legislative session.

If your state has a GLBT rights organization, please support them at least once in a while.   Take some time to put your face and your handshake to the name of a GLBT person in your legislator’s constituency, and let your legislators know that you care about yourself and your neighbors.

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1 December 2011 by kathleen.

Last year on this date I pledged to be tested for HIV/AIDS before World AIDS Day, 2011. I met my pledge in October of this year, during Fantasia Fair.

I was tested by the AIDS Support Group of Cape Cod in Provincetown, Massachusetts. I was amazed by the total anonymity of the testing. I mean, I’d heard it was anonymous, but they didn’t even take my name. Had the screening test been positive, I understand there would have been a follow-up test to confirm the condition. Because my screening was negative, I cannot tell you how much longer the anonymity would have been maintained.

If you have had unprotected sex or shared a needle, you need to get tested. You know that. You can be a big girl and just do it.

Many thanks to Jennifer Barge, director of TransHealth Coordinators in the preparation of this post. Jennifer is a wonderful person, and has a long history of service to the transgender community.

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26 September 2011 by kathleen.

The other day, I received a very polite request from an experienced blogger for permission to blog about cancer support groups and related topics.  Since I have been silent for the last month or so, I’ve set up access for this person to be able to share some information with us.

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15 June 2011 by kathleen.

I came across this interactive map at the website for the PBS series Independent Lens. It is not a series available on my local PBS station, so I haven’t see the show.

I call your attention to the map, though, because you don’t need to watch public broadcasting to learn from the map. I had no idea the concept of a two-spirited, two-gendered, or third-gendered existence was so widespread in human culture. My own background in transgender is so limited that I thought we — that is, U.S. society in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries — was breaking new ground.

Not at all!  We’re way behind many cultures in the history of human existence.

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13 June 2011 by kathleen.

Back eight or nine years ago, I was diagnosed with basal cell carcinoma just above my right breast. Well, actually at that time it wasn’t really a breast, because I hadn’t yet started estrogen.

A small lesion, less than one quarter inch in diameter, required a one-inch incision and left a distinct scar. Most of my bathing suits cover it, but the scar still looks unsightly. I would be devastated now to develop a carcinoma on my face, or worse yet a melanoma.

As a daily moisturizer I use a fragrance-free sunblock with an SPF of 50. That’s every day, winter and summer, before I leave the house. The brand I use is Healthy Defense by Neutrogena. There is also a sensitive-skin version. I am sure there are others you can use.

My genetic heritage is northern European, so by the time spring rolls around, my skin is pale white — you could even say fishbelly white. Yes, I do seek the sun to add color to my skin. However, I am very cautious, and patient. I take four or five weeks to do what could be done in two or three days of serious tanning.

For your own sake, please take care of your skin.

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7 June 2011 by kathleen.

What a lot of people found out Sunday is that LGBT are not demons or monsters.  The pride event was successful and fun.

The day started badly, with heavy rain from 8:30am till just before noon.  It looked for a while that the event would be rained out.  The rain tapered off after 11, and by noon the sun was peeking out now and then.  By mid-afternoon, most of the clouds were gone, and I regretted not bringing a bottle of sunscreen.

I wore a button declaring TRANS AND PROUD, but my partner and I were there as much for being lesbian as for transgendered.  She has been actively supporting GSAs in local high schools as well as attending meetings of the local transgender support group, GEM, with me.

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5 June 2011 by kathleen.

Today, June 5, is Pride Sunday for Hampton Roads, Virginia.  The local pride event, called Out in the Park,  is organized by Hampton Roads Pride.  This year the celebration will be held in downtown Norfolk, at Town Point Park.

I can’t imagine that anyone outside of Hampton Roads would appreciate the magnitude of change this represents.  Norfolk was the site of gay-bashing in the late ’90’s, and we have been the “buckle in the bible belt” so to speak.  LGBTs have kept their heads down.  For most of the 21st century the pride celebration has been held at Chesapeake City Park.  It is a nice park, and we’re all appreciative to the city of Chesapeake, Virginia, for allowing us to use the park in past years — but it’s 12 miles southeast of downtown Norfolk.

Twelve miles is no big deal if you have a car, or if you live in a metropolitan area with reasonable public transportation, but using Hampton Roads Transit it would take two hours, including three miles of walking, to get from downtown Norfolk to the park.  That means the park is for all practical purposes unreachable for the thousands of Hampton Roads LGBT who don’t own a car.

This year’s location, however, is smack in the middle of Norfolk, and is as accessible to the less prosperous citizens as anything in Hampton Roads could be.  Here’s hoping the formerly invisible L, G, B, and T people are able to show their many, many faces.  Wish us luck!

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30 May 2011 by kathleen.

We remember and honor the soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines of every gender, who  have given their lives for our country.

We express our appreciation to the loved ones still here, who remember their heroes not one day a year, but every day.

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8 May 2011 by kathleen.

It’s been over two months since I last posted.  I regret the interruption, but it was necessary.  Upon recovering from flu, I developed what is colloquially called “walking pneumonia”, which lasted way too long.  Acupuncture treatments helped to complete my recovery.

Today, May 8, my partner and I celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary — as good a reason as any to resurrect my blog!  Although neither of us is a mother, we salute all mothers everywhere.

Give me, please, a few weeks to get back in the groove as I attempt to return to my every-other-day posting.

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