19 January 2012 by kathleen.

I’ve never had a request like this before, though I’ve heard of the process.  I will honor this one and see how it goes.

There is a new documentary in process, The Joneses.  It hasn’t been released yet; it isn’t even finished.  They are still seeking funding, and if you like you can help them through KickStarter. If you like what you read about the film on KickStarter, you can contribute funds to the production of the film. You could even be listed as Associate Producer!

The documentary is about a 70 year old transgender matriarch and her two adult sons, living in a bible belt trailer park in Mississippi. The film revolves around this unique family’s optimistic search for true love outside their now close knit family unit in the Old South.

More information on the film can be found on the project page at KickStarter.

Please note that I have not seen this film. I have no financial interest in it (though I might contribute), and I haven’t received any financial incentive to mention this film on my blog.

This sounds like a worthwhile project, and I hope it succeeds.  Whether or not I like it or recommend it depends on how sensitively it treats the characters when it is finally finished.

If you have any opinions about this blog supporting the KickStarter process, please leave a comment.  I may or may not ever do this again.

Posted in Media and Arts | 2 Comments »

13 August 2011 by kathleen.

Imagine identical twins, then imagine that after puberty one identifies as transgender.  Red Without Blue is an honest and respectful examination of the twins’ relationship, and the parent-child relationships — the whole family milieu, actually.

The transition from Alex to Clair is the core of the movie; you can watch it for for that.  The film captured the richness of the family difficulties, difficulties that stressed the high school age twins enough to attempt a double suicide.  The parents were involved in divorce, and the boys had come out as gay at their Missoula, Montana, school.  These emotional stresses led the boys to drug use, then to suicide — how lucky we are that they failed!

When Mark and Alex emerge from separate homes for troubled youth two years later, Alex comes out as transgender.  Bending the twin bond is hard for both, as well as for the family.  Fortunately, they survive, and have the financial resources not only to get both children through college, but also to get surgery for Clair after she graduates.

The film is both thoughtful and respectful; it is honest, and tries hard not to take sides between mother and father.  This could so easily have become a blaming movie, but instead it documents supportively.  Much of the first half or so is pretty down.  The twins finally get hold of their own lives as they enter college, and both emerge from their education as more mature and responsible.  I wish them well, and I think you will too if you watch this film.

Snag Films has over 2000 films on line, from both amateurs and professionals, and you can watch them all for free.  I’m impressed with the quality of the films, and range of subjects.  If you lose the detailed link above, running their search for “transgender”will pull up not only Red Without Blue but 5 others as well that may catch your interest.

Posted in Media and Arts | 2 Comments »

2 July 2011 by kathleen.

I Am J very clearly depicts a young transman’s struggles to understand himself, and to communicate his situation to his parents and his friends.  It is a process of discovery and of growth.

The process is not always pretty.  Author Cris Beam courageously crafted difficult conversations between J and his parents, and between J and his girlfriends.  There were some emotionally-charged moments.  I cried, not out of sadness or pain, but from the flood of feeling such as when J confronts his mother’s deception of his father.  And I cried with joy when he got his first shot of testosterone — what a great moment!

This is a “teen” novel, but please don’t let that label put you off.  “Teen” doesn’t mean it is simple or childish — it means the central character is a teen, and that the book is of interest to teens.  Since J turns 18 in the book, the distinction between teen and adult is hardly major.  And adults may have to come out to parents, too, just as J does.  The circumstances may differ between teen and adult, but the confusion, anger, and pain are the same.

This book is pure FtM transsexual, including the messy edges dealing with parents, peers, and friends.   Whether you know a FtM or not, this is a book worth reading.

Posted in Media and Arts, General FtM topics | 1 Comment »

27 June 2011 by kathleen.

I know a lot of us like to discuss what it really means to be transgender.  So let this book ask you: if a mother raises her son as a girl, is that son transgendered?

Daniel Black discusses that issue in Perfect Peace — though without using the word transgender at all.  The action takes place in the 1940’s and ’50’s, long before we had the term transgender.  You might be queer or punk, and probably sissy, too, but not transgendered.

This is not a story with titillating details of a boy transformed into a girl; no, there’s no forced feminization here.  It is not sexually exciting for an infant if that infant is raised as a girl from the instant of its birth.  This is not petticoat punishment; the child was raised as if it were really a girl.  Because the action takes place in the repressed and fearful culture of poor black people in rural Arkansas in the ’40’s, it is reasonable that our heroine wouldn’t see other children to be able to compare.  They were poorer than I could ever imagine; of seven children, the family could only afford one child to be in school, and “daycare” meant amusing yourself on the front porch.

Let me not mislead you: this is the chronicle of the lives of a family and their neighbors in a time and place long past us.  Racism takes it toll, and so do poverty, ignorance, and violence.  It is not a book about transgender or homosexuality or morality.  The book paints portraits of the feelings and motivations of people who lack the vocabulary to articulate their fears, by an author with superb articulation.

If you are sure you know the transgendered experience then you, like me, experienced parental pressure to live to my birth gender.  I invite you to read this book and consider what emotional violence can be done by parental pressure into a different gender.  And while you read, I invite you to appreciate the author’s compassion for a whole town full of people.

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17 June 2011 by kathleen.

The Sweet In-Between is the story of a FtM growing up scared, insecure, and lonely on Virginia’s Eastern Shore.  The story seems credible, and Sheri Reynolds has done a superb job describing the life of a family rich in just one thing: drama.

Kendra (who prefers the name Kenny) is our hero/heroine.  To forestall further rapes by her half-brother, she binds her breasts and wears three layers of clothes.  Her mother died of breast cancer when she was little, and we meet her in her junior year in high school.  Her father is in prison on drug charges, and she lives with her father’s girlfriend; not quite a stepmother, but close enough.  That is not the end of the emotional entanglements driving this story, but I’ll leave the rest to your own experience of the book.

The portrait of a young woman who hates her body because of repeated violations of it by her male relatives is convincing.  Is that what it takes to become a FtM?  More precisely, is sexual violence either necessary or sufficient to explain why a woman would hate her body so fiercely?

Whether you are FtM or MtF, did the violation of your body cause your transgender?  Did it even contribute?

I hated my male sexuality, and I believe I experienced some emotional trauma when I was very young — probably younger than three years old.  Do I remember that?  Do I wish it had been?  Or is any near-memory that old only a fantasy?  Trying to recall the details of an incident that may or may not have happened over 60 years ago is fruitless, much less attempt to verify them.

I don’t know if Ms Reynolds intended to shed light on the politics of transgender, or if she was simply telling a fascinating story.  And let me be clear: I found the story fascinating.  The descriptions of the emotional violence the family members wreak on each other remind me of those in George Meredith’s Egoist, but Reynold’s story is engaging and in tune with today’s culture.  I think it also poses a plausible genesis for female-to-male transgender, a genesis worth pondering.

Posted in Media and Arts, General FtM topics | 1 Comment »

11 June 2011 by kathleen.

Cut Away is not about transgender; I blog about it because a transwoman figures heavily in the story.  The story doesn’t involve her transgender directly, except that the transgender reflects upon identity and appearance.  If the book is about anything, it is about identity and appearance.  That said, it should be no surprise that the book is heavy on introspection and character, and light on action.  There are no shoot-em-ups, no grisly murders — no steamy sex scenes either.

Plastic surgeons cut away skin and bone, and in doing so may reshape their patients’ psyches as well as their faces.  The central character, Eleanor, is a plastic surgeon.  She has a relationship with our transgendered heroine and she operates on a female patient who has a heavy load of guilt.  That patient also encounters our transgendered heroine and interacts with her in a different way.

I am not patient with fiction that bogs down and has much to say about very little; I will put down a book after just 10 pages, or after 50, if it doesn’t hold my interest.  I had no trouble reading this one to the end.  I won’t call it gripping, but I cared about the characters, and wanted to see how their personalities manifested in their lives.  The story is told from multiple points of view, first one character for a chapter, then another character in the next chapter. It’s a short book, but the shifting viewpoints demand a bit more concentration than a thriller demands.

Still, it’s a good read for the summer heat, and you may get another perspective on transgender.

Posted in Media and Arts | 1 Comment »

19 February 2011 by kathleen.

This is a children’s’ book — our hero is just 4 years old.  My Princess Boy is a first book for author Cheryl Kilodavis.  The best part is that she didn’t have to self-publish; big-name Simon and Schuster published it.  Veteran illustrator Suzanne DeSimone did a very worthy job on the artwork.

I think this is a book most of us would have liked to read when we were 4 or 5.  The whole family — mom, dad, and big brother — affirm repeatedly: we love our Princess Boy for who he is.  Wouldn’t you have loved to hear your father say that when you were 5 or 6?  And your brothers and sisters?

I am not sure who the audience is for this book, however.  Parents who would give this book to their children probably don’t need to because they already love their gender-variant child.  Would a grandparent who recognized the patterns in a grandson dare to give the book as a gift?  Would a loving parent give this book to a school, or to a teacher, soon to be blessed with their own Princess Boy?

I don’t know the answer, but I hope Ms Kilodavis finds it.  I do so want this book to succeed, and to spread a message of unconditional love.  You could ask your local library to order a copy if they don’t have one, or buy a copy yourself and donate it to an elementary school near you — how’s that for an idea!

Posted in Media and Arts | 1 Comment »

15 February 2011 by kathleen.

I added a new category to the list, and went back into older posts to update them.

Media and Arts includes movies, books, and plays for sure.  Concerts by transgendered performers, or poetry readings, will be included if I attend them; or showings of visual arts or sculpture.

Not that I have produced a prolific flow of reviews, mind you, but what I have you can browse quickly by clicking on this category.

Posted in Media and Arts | 1 Comment »

12 February 2011 by kathleen.

A young man, fiercely Mormon and gay, commits suicide in the garden of a Mormon temple.  The entire play is conducted by his grave just minutes after the funeral service.  The grieving mother and father recall tender memories and poignant incidents in the history of their now-dead son.  Each parent is torn between love and duty; husband and wife are lacerated, too, by the demands of marriage.

Half-way through the play, the parents are joined on stage by their young son’s lover.  They have rejected him along with their son, and the lover has never been welcome in their house.  He reveals his memories of the dead man’s love for his parents and his God, in addition to his own memories of the tender moments they shared together.

The play is not about transgender, but the parental emotions are universal.  It could probably be rewritten to have the young man die of a heroin overdose instead of a self-inflicted gunshot.  The parents’ internal struggles could be identical.

I have no idea how much pain I caused my parents when I told them at age 19 that I liked to wear womens’ clothes.  Like the parents in the play, my parents loved me, did their best for me, and could not understand.  Unlike the play, my parents stood by me even before I threatened suicide.

My only regret about this play is that it is probably seen as serving the “gay agenda” — thereby ensuring that fundamentalists of all varieties will never see it, never feel the wrenching emotions, never see the other side.

I highly recommend this play if it is ever performed in a theatre near you.

Posted in Media and Arts | 1 Comment »

6 January 2011 by kathleen.

Yes, now that I’m retired I have a lot more time for reading. I bought Transgender Explained For Those Who Are Not last October. The author, Joanne Herman, gave a seminar entitled “Being Visible and How That Helps Us All” at Fantasia Fair. Even better, I got her to autograph the copy I bought. Thank you, Joanne!

The book has been nominated for an award by the GLBT Round Table of the American Library Association. The nomination is deserved. This is the best explanatory survey of the transgender experience — MTF, FTM, intersexed, genderqueer, the whole spectrum — that I’ve ever read or heard.

The book would be especially valuable to someone involved with human resources who has heard of transgender, or maybe has had to deal with a transition.  What are we?  What are the variations?  What can you ask?  What should you not ask?  What do you call us?  A minister at an affirming church would want to know these things, too; or a hospital administrator who must write policy to guide medical staff when treating a transgender patient.

This is probably not the book to give to your father to explain your situation as FTM or MTF.  I think it is too broad for your immediate family, because only a few of the chapters would apply directly to your transgender situation.  Reading about the whole spectrum would likely be more confusing for them than it would be clarifying.

However, if you are ever called upon to describe or speak for transgendered people for a church, school, or civic league, read this book first and get some ammunition.  Try WorldCat to find a library near you that might have a copy!

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