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13 November 2011 by kathleen.
I’ve been on trans-dermal estrogen for about 4-1/2 years. Because I was 60 years old when I started estrogen, my breasts have not grown as fast or as large as they would have if I’d started estrogen in my teens or twenties.
Instead of the sagging breasts of a woman in her 60’s, I have the pert booblets of a 15-year-old. That is not a good thing for a woman my age. In fact, when I went to the dermatologist for a skin cancer checkup two years ago, I had the distinct impression the horny old doctor looked more at my breasts than at any possibly-cancerous growths elsewhere on my skin. No, he didn’t touch me inappropriately, but he sure looked a lot harder at some places than others.
So it’s not always a good thing to have pert booblets. I will go bra-less around the house, but that’s about it. For those of you who don’t have breasts yet, let me tell you that bras don’t only support the breasts, they also minimize the outline of the nipples under your blouse or tee-shirt.
Certainly when you’re trying to attract someone’s attention at a nightclub or party, visible nipples are a Good Thing. But not when you’re raking leaves, or shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, or having a skin cancer screening.
Posted in AutoBiog, General MtF topics | 2 Comments »
5 November 2011 by kathleen.
I started this blog about 2 years after my transition, and 6 months after my surgery. I chose not to blog either my transition or my surgery day-by-day, but to discuss my experiences after a period of reflection. Many blogs are in the day-by-day vein; that is a good thing, but I chose to do something different. I’ve observed in my own life that a distance of as little as a week can make a huge difference in how I perceive an event and its effects.
Now, 4 years after transition, changes to my life are occurring more slowly. Furthermore, my self-perception is congealing around being a woman — not as a broken man, and not as a used-to-be man. As that has happened, being transgender has become less important. I am “just me” more of the time.
For 10-15 years before I transitioned, becoming a woman was the most frequent focus of my thoughts. From morning to night, it seemed that everything I saw, everything I heard, everything I did reminded me that I wanted to stop being a man. What do I now that I have what I said I wanted?
For many people and many situations, the gratification of a desire simply leads to another desire, or maybe to the creation of another problem. And it has been said that as soon as you eliminate the number 1 problem in your life, you automatically elevate problem number 2 — you never get rid of having “a biggest problem in my life”. That is not quite what happened upon becoming a woman. I am simply happier, all the time. I still get annoyed, I still get angry, of course. Problems temporarily get me down — but now, “down” only lasts over night and not for months at a time.
The net result for me is that my attention is now on living my life as a woman, taking care of the relationship with my partner, encouraging my creativity, and nurturing friendships with cis-gendered women. I continue to sing the song of my gender, and to render it in my unique way. The bad news for the blog is that I have less to say about transgender because being distinctly transgender is a smaller part of my life: I am free to be authentically me.
So that is why this blog is thinner than it was a year ago. I am not yet ready to shut it down, but it may come to that some day.
Posted in AutoBiog, General MtF topics | 1 Comment »
3 November 2011 by kathleen.
While at Fantasia Fair a few weeks ago, I caught up with some people I hadn’t seen for a while. Some of them were pretty rough looking the last time I’d seen them — I mean, their presentation as a woman was not very convincing.
Dear reader, there are some amazing transformations happening in this world, and the most amazing of all are not performed by surgeons.
The agents of transformation are attention, determination, and patient repetition. I hear newly-out transpeople speak as if their coming-out has ended the process; they speak as if it’s all over but the surgery, and if only the doctor would operate next week, their lives would be complete.
I’ve written before about how it gets better for each of us, and how with attention the unique, personal song of our gender improves. The expression of our gender becomes more pleasing to ourselves and to others.
Yes, there are legislative improvements; there is more legal support for transgendered people. Yes, there are medical improvements; I’m thinking of the recent changes to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published by the American Psychiatric Association. But what matters to you on a daily basis is how you feel. Today I want to remind you that you can feel better because day by day you are getting better at experiencing the gender of your true nature.
Posted in General MtF topics | 1 Comment »
30 October 2011 by kathleen.
I attended Fantasia Fair again with my partner — it was our 8th year in a row. This is probably the single best fair in terms of support for spouses of MtF transgenders, though I heard that Esprit is also very good for spouses.
Fantasia Fair may not be the best for your needs, but one of the events out there ought to be on your calendar this year or next. I once heard someone say, “I’m not really a crossdresser, so those parties and events for crossdressers really turn me off.” Well, that may be….. but don’t let the turn-off get in the way of getting experience living as a woman, even just for a few hours. Getting dressed to stay home an watch television just doesn’t count; you need to interact with other people.
So I will repeat what I’ve said before: go to a trans event. Meet people; talk to them. The spectrum of transgender expression is enormous! People are incredibly creative in expressing themselves and their gender. You can learn to be creative, too, and free yourself from your own limitations. I realize that it may be difficult with the current economy, but you need to do this for yourself. You can find a way.
Posted in General MtF topics | 1 Comment »
26 September 2011 by dhaas.
The Power of Cancer Support Groups
Cancer Support groups have been known to help cancer patients and those in remission to help understand and cope with the disease which has fundamentally changed their life. There are known cancer support groups for many different kinds of cancers including breast cancer, skin cancer, and even rare cancers such as mesothelioma. Patients going through treatment, especially treatments for aggressive cancer, do not always understand everything their doctor tells them. Being confused about cancer and cancer treatments can cause anxiety. However, the people in cancer support groups, like the American Cancer Society, can further explain everything involved with treatment. Remember, these people are also going through or have gone through cancer treatment themselves. They can help other patients understand what it is like from their perspective.
It helps patients relax
Cancer support groups are designed to help patients relax, helping them to feel more comfortable. When cancer patients are in a relaxed setting, it helps them forget about the stress and worry that have plagued them prior to the cancer support group session. This is especially important for patients who must undergo rare cancer treatment, such as mesothelioma treatment. The more serious the condition, the more the patient will worry and be stressed.
The other patients can console each other, and help them to feel optimistic, which is very important for helping the body to recover from treatment.
It allows patients to talk about what is on their mind
Obviously, cancer patients will have a lot of questions and thoughts that they want to share. Cancer support groups are not only a great place for cancer patients to ask questions, but also a great place for patients in remission to share their experience and help other patients understand. In fact, sharing information can also be therapeutic.
Here are some online support groups that you should check out:
Conclusion
Cancer support groups make the cancer experience easier for patients. Questions can be answered, and fears can be expressed; hope is given. More than anything, the best things patients can do is be optimistic and seek other people’s help.
By: David Haas
Posted in General MtF topics | 1 Comment »
26 September 2011 by kathleen.
The other day, I received a very polite request from an experienced blogger for permission to blog about cancer support groups and related topics. Since I have been silent for the last month or so, I’ve set up access for this person to be able to share some information with us.
Posted in General MtF topics, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
4 July 2011 by kathleen.
I live in southeastern Virginia, and I am privileged to have a swimming pool in the backyard. Then again, if you have a swimming pool of your own, you know that “privileged” is a euphemism. With the humid summers we have here, it’s nice to go in and cool off.
Except I can’t go in very far without taking off my hairpiece and putting on a yucky rubber bathing cap that doesn’t keep my hair dry anyway. It’s primary value is to disguise my mostly-bald head, just as my turban does when I have to go to the hospital and have general anesthesia. I have met transwomen who strongly resisted wearing a wig, even though their male-pattern baldness unmistakably gives them away. I understand why they resist a wig so strongly — but I’d rather been seen as female.
And that’s the bottom line for me: I am willing to forego swimming and feel good about how I look for the non-swimming part of my life. People would laugh — at best — if I went around without a wig or hairpiece. My choice is to look reasonably female instead of standing on my rights.
Posted in AutoBiog, General MtF topics | 1 Comment »
29 June 2011 by kathleen.
We can get caught up in complex, sophisticated situations which we can label pleasure or satisfaction or fulfillment. We transgendered, however, can appreciate simpler pleasures. For instance, do you remember the first time someone referred to you as a transwoman ma’am? Or as a transman, sir? Such pleasure we can get from such simple words!
What brings this to mind is another walking story. One of my “regular” walking buddies brought her daughter with her today, and introduced me. That’s it; end of story. I was one more woman in a group of women walking around the mall.
It doesn’t matter whether I am LGBT, or Muslim, black, or Mexican, or disabled. Whatever identifiable minority you can imagine, if I am in that minority I will appreciate being accepted as whatever I am, and not as a freak. We are both as good as each other.
Posted in General FtM topics, General MtF topics | 1 Comment »
23 June 2011 by kathleen.
According to this story at Reuters, the FDA (U.S. Food and Drug Administration) advises women who get breast implants that they are likely to need additional surgery within 10 years. The implants are not lifetime items.
According to the story, that caution applies to both saline and silicone implants.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have breast augmentation; there isn’t really a guarantee on anything in life. It is only important that you know enough to make an informed decision.
Posted in General MtF topics | 1 Comment »
21 June 2011 by kathleen.
Living my life is exciting. That said, I can also say that living life as trans is less important than it was a few years ago.
After my transition life was all about living as a transwoman: seeing both sides of every gender-influenced situation or innuendo, and being a woman with a male history. As a transwoman, heading for SRS was the focus and purpose of my life. That part has now passed; I’m over it. I pretty much live as if I have always been a woman. Well, OK, there are still some remnants of the male conditioning and upbringing of my earlier years, and my voice can get way too deep on occasions. But I go around shopping, chatting with the neighbors, attending church, and taking music lessons: it just doesn’t matter.
What matters is that I go on living, paying the bills, taking out the trash, cooking dinner, and all the rest. It’s cool: I don’t have to have transgender as the center of my life. I never imagined life without it, but now I am sort of without it. I’m living my life, and in that life I am a 60-something woman.
Now there’s something! For at least 50 of my 60-some years I’ve affirmed: I don’t want to be an old man. Now I’m not. I’m an old woman and that suits me fine.
Posted in AutoBiog, General MtF topics | 1 Comment »