Some years before I started sequence of tasks leading up to transition, I considered the options I had in dealing with my transgender. The primary goal was to be rid of maleness, and for me that put the testicles at the top of the disposal list.
As a male-bodied person without male reproductive organs, how could I continue to live my life? I wasn’t adequately aggressive for a man even with the testosterone I had; removing the source of testosterone might relieve pressure in some ways, but would probably make my life harder in others.
I concluded that — for me — the right thing to do was to live as a woman.
You don’t have to agree with me. That conclusion was, and is, right for me. Something else might be right for you. I ponder important decisions for a long time, but once I decide, I pull out all the stops. I decided to become a woman as completely and as thoroughly as I could be.
Back in the mists of time, I had a manager whose key word was discipline, by which he meant, “Do it my way.” I developed my own definition: discipline is doing the right thing, whether you feel like doing it or not.
Some of the things I’ve written about passing in recent weeks remind me of things I chose to do because I decided they were the right thing for me to do as the woman I was becoming. They would not have been the right thing if I’d decided to remain male, but having chosen to become female, it “fit” to do them. I wrote once before about doing what is expected, which is to say, doing whatever it is that fits the situation you’re in.
It is not my place to say what you should be, how you should live your life, or how you should express your transgender. You need to identify what is right for you, then live that rightness, all day every day, whether you feel like it or not.