Not Your Fault

5 September 2010 by kathleen.

In the film Good Will Hunting psychiatrist Sean Maguire (played by Robin Williams) finally breaks through Will’s defenses around his memories of abuse by saying, “It’s not your fault, Will. It’s not your fault.” Of course the resolution is overly simplified: breaking through the defenses one has created over years cannot be documented in a two-hour movie.

I think, though, that it is important for you to realize that our transgendered nature is not our fault. It makes no sense that any of us would freely choose to

• Consume enormous amounts of effort to express the alternate gender;
• Endure hours of physical pain in waxing our bodies, and undergoing electrolysis;
• Spend huge amounts of money on gender confirmation surgery;
• Subject ourselves to ridicule; and,
• Risk serious injury and death at the hands of transphobic people

without a strong and serious drive to do so.  Those who think sexual gratification alone is sufficient motivation have no idea what goes on inside us.

We do it because we have a deep and urgent need to express and live out another gender. Like the horrible things that were done to Will as a child in the movie, our need to express our gender is not our fault. In my opinion, fulfilling that need is congruent to the Creator’s plan for us. If you are transgendered, dressing up is for you, as it is for me, right, good, and pleasing to God.

Take comfort that doing God’s will may for you be — not easy, but pleasurable and fulfilling.

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