I stayed at my old job when I came out. That is, I transitioned on the job, and not into a new job. I left as a male (John) one day in December, 2007, and came back to work a few days later as Kathleen.
Five or 10 years earlier I could not have done that. I was so sure back then that everyone was against me for wearing women’s clothes that something awful would happen: I would get beaten up, or my tires would be slashed, people would spit on me, manly men (i.e. my father’s memory) would threaten me, etc., etc.
I am ever so fortunate that I was able to move from that place of fear to a place of loving myself. I talked about loving my body and loving myself in earlier posts. Because I moved into that loving place, the pointing fingers stopped pointing. The visceral fears evaporated. The imagined glares of hatred turned indifferent. The hatred that I imagined coming from other people was in fact coming from me! When I stopped hating myself, I stopped seeing hatred aimed at me from those around me.
That fortunate change I attribute to the work of God. The change in me enabled me to transition from John to Kathleen in the same job, at the same desk, surrounded by the same coworkers — without the terror I would have felt a few years before. I am so lucky I was able to do that! I went to work that first day resolute, but uncertain; I met a dozen smiling faces….. warm support the very first minute I walked in the door.
I’ve had a lot of jobs in my life — 20 or 25 since high school. I have never walked into a new job with the support I had that first day I walked into my old job as Kathleen.
Please consider how easier it might be if you were to change in the same job, even though that thought may be terrifying to you now. It doesn’t matter, really, whether you work in an office or in a factory. If you are a genuine, authentic, non-judgmental human being, you will be accepted by the majority of your coworkers.
The transition will be easier and more pleasant, though, only if you can move into a loving place, a place in which you can love yourself just as your are. That’s where you need to be.