Being Passable Starts Inside

I am one of the very luck ones: I am very passable.  I look enough like a woman that “no one would guess” that I used to be a man.

It is not just my looks and my stature that make me passable.  I have done a lot of work on the inside:

  • I recognize who and what I am
  • I love myself as I am
  • I let go of being a man
  • I take risks and open myself up to people

For nearly 40 years I was sure I could not ever, ever pass.  I had a litany of things that were “wrong” with me, so badly wrong that they would instantly and constantly shout to the world, “Attention! Attention! Man in a dress is here! Beware of pervert!” With that attitude it would be darned hard for anyone to pass.

Many things have changed for me, both physically and spiritually. The four items listed above were crucial to becoming passable:

  • I used to see myself as a broken man; now I see I am a whole and complete transsexual
  • I used to hate myself for being male; now I love myself for being transsexual
  • I used to tightly clutch the masculine habits that offered me the protection I thought I needed; now I can relax and be what I am
  • I used to hide my interest in and love for other people; now I can let out that love and kindness.

There is more to passing than these four attitudes, but without these attitudes the most beautiful figure or face — or for transmen the most rugged face and bulging muscles — will be an act. With these attitudes, however, one sings the song of one’s gender from the inside out, and the chosen song becomes real.

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